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Post by Persephone on Oct 30, 2013 17:27:07 GMT
Now I feel really stupid. After saying that in the other thread , I must be making this whole thing up.
We seem too similar in some personality traits to be separate identities , the doctors must have been right when they said it's just a part of myself that I can't accept with feelings I think are wrong. Maybe all I need to do is realize female traits aren't bad like they said I apparently think.
I must be just hearing my own thoughts but choosing to not identify them as my own. Or I have the other thing that someone in my family has , with this just being hallucinations.
Sorry everyone.
(Obviously from K because she doesn't and never will exist)
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Post by SecondhandHeart24 on Oct 30, 2013 17:43:23 GMT
Hey K.
I know about denial a lot I'm new to this whole DID thing and I'm going through some stuff that is making me think otherwise. But you can't just say that Persephone is not real. Yeah your personalities may be similar but there has to be little differences that only you know about that only she has. Same with thoughts, I sometimes think I'm making up things myself but I test myself to make sure that they are not. I used to write a lot and I made up characters. I could tell if what I wrote, or thought, was from my own mind or from one of my alters. Its hard to explain but I could just tell when I was doing something on purpose or not and its a test that reassures me. Maybe you can find something like that that will help you realize that your alters are real.
I hope this helps some.
-Aelita |
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Post by Persephone on Oct 31, 2013 18:56:20 GMT
I am real though, how could you say I'm not? stop being logical about it all. I can be real, just because you dont understand it doesnt mean I am not  you just hate me really K...
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Post by Deleted on Oct 31, 2013 19:02:07 GMT
@k: We have several alters who are separate but have similar personas. Part of this, I think, is a protective mechanism so if another alter has to act like the host/another alter they can. Or it may just be pure coincidence.
And, sometimes thinking about things logically doesn't help. Just accept things as they come. "Well, they're here, and I don't know why, and they're real. And I can at least accept that for now." Or something like that.
-Shadow
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Post by The hornets nest on Oct 31, 2013 23:43:54 GMT
My T told me that a lot of people think they are making it up. It is a defense mechanism that the brain creates in order to convince you that you are not DID. It is because the brain wants you to think you didn't suffer any trauma and there is nothing wrong. That is why denial is so common.
Another thing my T made clear is that while a person can talk to themselves, they do not refer to each other as 'you', 'we', or call you by your name as though you are a different person. and you don't have full blown conversations with different values, opinions, likes, dislikes, and beliefs. THAT DOES NOT HAPPEN WITHOUT DID or DDNOS-1. and she definitely would not have responded saying that she is real.
and remember when you told me that you saw her reflection in the mirror and that you felt physically smaller sometimes when she was around? Remember when you'd ask me if you sent posts to me from forgetfulness? Remember when she cried because you got mad at her? That doesn't just happen.
You say you two have too much in common, but if you had a sibling you two might have stuff in common sinc eyou grew up in the same household, so sharing a body would cause you to have more in common.
You say it could be a hallucination, but K, NO. I study psychology and the ONLY disorder where you have consistent people in your head like that is DID or DDNOS-1.
You obviously had an uneducated or skeptical therapist. Do not close your eyes to what is in front of you, K. Seek out another therapist or something. It's okay to change until you find one that fits. You have to remember that P deserves to be acknowledged as real because she obviously is. It hurts your alters when you deny them and you will not heal properly if you continue to close your eyes and deny the truth that is in front of you. -Leslie
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Post by Persephone on Oct 31, 2013 23:55:41 GMT
The one I saw today seemed a bit better so hopefully that's something. It's just the way I sometimes wish I was her or that she was the only one, and try to force a switch, which often doesn't work. And how she hides whenever I go to see someone like a doctor She does in someways seem like a female version me when I was younger :/ |
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Post by Deleted on Nov 1, 2013 0:05:58 GMT
There can be younger alter versions of yourself.
I used to have one (Brook) but she integrated with an introject.
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Post by The hornets nest on Nov 1, 2013 0:07:41 GMT
Well, Lulu quite literally IS a younger version of myself. That happens. There are family members in the system too. Or you guys could have blended when you were younger. and sometimes alters cannot switch at will or are too scared to even put the effort in.
and once again, the defense mechanism in the brain causes alters to want to hide, meaning that she could be too scared to reveal herself to the T and maybe she knows that if she does fully witch out, especially in front of the T that it will then be more real and then you gys will have to face and accept that something bad did happen in childhood. It might not have seemed bad at the time, but trauma survivors often feel that what they are suffering is not really all that bad because that is what they KNOW and are used to.
-Leslie
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Post by Persephone on Nov 1, 2013 0:14:26 GMT
I guess I am still scared about all of this happening. It just seems so much more real since she has been acknowledged by people (mainly you Les) it's like now she's been allowed to say/do more things except when we're out alone, I can't control her as much as I used to.
I used to just shift when I was on my own or when everyone was asleep, well when I remember probably co-con but just shifting control.
I saw her again today in a reflection, after seeing someone I didn't even recognize.
I guess she is real, which is hard to accept sometimes.
Thanks.
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Post by SecondhandHeart24 on Nov 1, 2013 0:19:20 GMT
I'm glad you are learning to cope with your feelings with your alter. :3 Denial happens to the best of us but you can get through it.
-Aelita |
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Post by The hornets nest on Nov 1, 2013 0:45:10 GMT
Yeah, don't worry. It is normal to go through denial and to feel like things are spiraling out of control. -Leslie
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Post by Persephone on Nov 1, 2013 0:49:41 GMT
next time you ever say im not real , im going to cry you know... so yeah, everything i feel that isnt the same as what you feel where does that come from? Do you get upset over some guy? No ? then who does oh yeah me......... I exist I am here , believe it...
Its not my fault i get scared about showing myself .
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Post by Persephone on Nov 3, 2013 19:10:09 GMT
If I believe she is real, I must atleast have something going on lol. -K
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you just hate me really K...
-Sofelia