Post by The hornets nest on Nov 1, 2013 0:00:47 GMT
So crowded. The noise. So many people. All wanting turns. They all want time. There's not enough time. They all want attention. They all want to be heard. So loud. The children are loud. Crying and screaming. Laughing. Arguing. So much noise. So crowded. I feel like I am being pushed in the back of my mind. So many people want to front.
So many people want out. I can't let you all out. Take turns. Not enough time. So, much to do. So little to do. So many goals. So many ambitions. So much pain. So overwhelming. Get me out. Trapped. Trapped in this body. Want to get out. Need to breath. It is dark. All darkness and no light. I want out. I need out. When is it my turn?! Isn't this MY life? I was here first, wasn't I? Let me escape this dungeon of a body. Logan and Cole want to socialize. The kids want to play. Luke wants to spend time with me. Teardrop wants to throw up my food. So much. So much. Too much to take in. Do not cry. Do not. No. Let me out of this fog! I don't belong to this body anymore. It is too full. Full. Go. No. Why? Please. Sorry.
I regret the time line thing. We shouldn't have made it. I didn't know all of that happened. I had no idea. I can't face it. How could it have happened? Why? I don't know. Please. I don't want to know more. I can't know more. It's too much. So much. More than I can handle. I am to weak. I thought i was so strong because I never felt sh*t, but I guess I was just numb to it. I still don't feel a f*cking thing. I feel like I have a wall blocking everything. I don't even feel any emotion anymore. I say I do, but I don't. It's too much to take. I used to cry about stuff, but it's like there are no tears anymore. It's like I've cried them out and now I have no tears left to cry and d*mn it, I could use a good cry. Maybe I wouldn't be so tense. -Leslie
So many people want out. I can't let you all out. Take turns. Not enough time. So, much to do. So little to do. So many goals. So many ambitions. So much pain. So overwhelming. Get me out. Trapped. Trapped in this body. Want to get out. Need to breath. It is dark. All darkness and no light. I want out. I need out. When is it my turn?! Isn't this MY life? I was here first, wasn't I? Let me escape this dungeon of a body. Logan and Cole want to socialize. The kids want to play. Luke wants to spend time with me. Teardrop wants to throw up my food. So much. So much. Too much to take in. Do not cry. Do not. No. Let me out of this fog! I don't belong to this body anymore. It is too full. Full. Go. No. Why? Please. Sorry.
I regret the time line thing. We shouldn't have made it. I didn't know all of that happened. I had no idea. I can't face it. How could it have happened? Why? I don't know. Please. I don't want to know more. I can't know more. It's too much. So much. More than I can handle. I am to weak. I thought i was so strong because I never felt sh*t, but I guess I was just numb to it. I still don't feel a f*cking thing. I feel like I have a wall blocking everything. I don't even feel any emotion anymore. I say I do, but I don't. It's too much to take. I used to cry about stuff, but it's like there are no tears anymore. It's like I've cried them out and now I have no tears left to cry and d*mn it, I could use a good cry. Maybe I wouldn't be so tense. -Leslie
I wish I could just die. I wish I was normal. I hate being so scared. -Logan
-Sofelia