I HATE YOU!!!!! *Trigger*

oh my gosh please no. I just want this to end. I feel like I'm going to be sick. WHY ARE YOU PUTTING ME THROUGH THIS HELL?! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THIS TO ME! I hate that I am so happy and ok and stable but then I think about this and I get physically sick from the pain and the fury! I can't believe anyone is capable of hurting someone like this and I will never forgive you! You are so happy and ok because that is how you are and always have been! You just forget! You forget everything because life used to be a beautiful adventure where anything is possible, but when you get older it becomes what society has made it to be. Nothing that was meaningful matters anymore! It's just gone! It's just over! Trying doesn't happen! Beauty and hope is gone! But, that's okay because after my tears are shed tonight, I will be numb to it again and I, too, will forget. Oh, but then I'll remember because I ALWAYS DO! It comes in flashbacks and I lay on my bed in the fetal position unable to breath and I know you don't hear me or see me and you would care for a second or two before skipping off with a trail of dust behind you. So, thank you. THANK YOU for murdering my self worth and making me wonder again and again what the hell is wrong with me. Thanks for making me feel like I can't be honest and open with people about myself anymore because I know they will turn away or look on me with shame. -Leslie