Post by The hornets nest on Nov 21, 2013 4:03:18 GMT
Luke, please talk to me. I'm really sorry.
I'm tired of hearing that. I really am.
I'm not perfect, okay?!
Not perfect and being a complete jerk are two different things.
How am I a complete jerk? I made a mistake is all.
You KEEP making the same one over and over. These are turning into mind games! One day you wanna try something and the next minute you're.... Let's not get into it here. You know what you did, though.
I'm sorry!
So, now you're hurting like....a lot more people. Like always. You hurt people!
I'm sorry! What do you want me to do?!
Make up your mind right now! Either you wanna do this or you don't! I offered to let you wait, but waiting isn't.....well, you KNOW what you did and I ought not even consider trying to be with you after that kinda betrayal!
Then don't! Fine! I don't care! I don't know how to be involved with anyone anyway! Let's face it, I'm doomed in that area because I don't know what I want in a relationship or in life! I suck with people! I don't know how to do anything right. Look, I'm sorry for what I've done. I really am. Please forgive me? I was thinking you were fake.
What more can I do to prove to you that I'm real?
I don't know. I'm always in denial. I feel like a liar. A freaking jerk. Everything....sucks....to say the least.
It doesn't have to. I can help you. One more chance. One more. Take it or leave it and when I say leave it, I mean for good. I'm not waiting for much longer because it's not good for my mental health. I'm ready for this. You never will be if you don't go ahead and give it a try.
......No. Not right now. I'm sorry.
Bye.
No! Please! WHy do you always say you have to go?!
WTF?
God damn it! You don't realize it, but being with you was my whole f*cking purpose in the system! It was my life long job or whatever and now....now you don't even want it!
I do! I really do, but then I don't! I don't know! I can't explain how complex this is!
It doesnt have to be complex! It's easy! SO fu*king easy!
For someone who hasn't been hurt as bad as I was.
Everybody gets hurt! You can't get around that in life! But, I'm the least likely person to hurt you!
But, if you don't hurt me, I'll hurt you!
Then so be it! It doesn't matter! What matters is the here and now!
You have a weird way of thinking.
I don't think of the risks. I just go with the flow. I go with the way I feel and I feel a lot about you.
because it was your 'role'.
No! It was a role! Not anymore. I think I really like you.
I can't feel anything. Like....nothing at all. I want to so bad.
Please don't cry. I don't wanna make you cry.
Do you see tears running down the face? There are no tears. I didn't cry about my own grandmas death. I haven't cried in a long time. I used to feel too strongly, now I don't feel at all. I'm just going through the motions. No feelings. Like a robot.
Maybe you are a robot. See? I got you laughing....
So what did you just feel? amusement? See? I can make you feel stuff.
.....I guess. A little. I feel empty. But, I don't know. I guess amusement is in there.
Look, forget what I said. Take your time. I'm sorry. *Hugs you*
I told you, go try to find someone else. You don't have to wait for me.
I want to. I don't want an outer relationship and I'm not into anyone else in the system. Wanna know a secret? *Whispers secret in real life*
*Bursts into laughter* You're kidding!
Nope! I kid you not! XD
OH MY GOSH! That is f*cked up!
I know. LOL.
Anyway, we'll talk about it more tonight. I really am sorry for upsetting you.
It's okay. Well, it's not okay....but I do forgive you.
I'm tired of hearing that. I really am.
I'm not perfect, okay?!
Not perfect and being a complete jerk are two different things.
How am I a complete jerk? I made a mistake is all.
You KEEP making the same one over and over. These are turning into mind games! One day you wanna try something and the next minute you're.... Let's not get into it here. You know what you did, though.
I'm sorry!
So, now you're hurting like....a lot more people. Like always. You hurt people!
I'm sorry! What do you want me to do?!
Make up your mind right now! Either you wanna do this or you don't! I offered to let you wait, but waiting isn't.....well, you KNOW what you did and I ought not even consider trying to be with you after that kinda betrayal!
Then don't! Fine! I don't care! I don't know how to be involved with anyone anyway! Let's face it, I'm doomed in that area because I don't know what I want in a relationship or in life! I suck with people! I don't know how to do anything right. Look, I'm sorry for what I've done. I really am. Please forgive me? I was thinking you were fake.
What more can I do to prove to you that I'm real?
I don't know. I'm always in denial. I feel like a liar. A freaking jerk. Everything....sucks....to say the least.
It doesn't have to. I can help you. One more chance. One more. Take it or leave it and when I say leave it, I mean for good. I'm not waiting for much longer because it's not good for my mental health. I'm ready for this. You never will be if you don't go ahead and give it a try.
......No. Not right now. I'm sorry.
Bye.
No! Please! WHy do you always say you have to go?!
WTF?
God damn it! You don't realize it, but being with you was my whole f*cking purpose in the system! It was my life long job or whatever and now....now you don't even want it! I do! I really do, but then I don't! I don't know! I can't explain how complex this is!
It doesnt have to be complex! It's easy! SO fu*king easy!
For someone who hasn't been hurt as bad as I was.
Everybody gets hurt! You can't get around that in life! But, I'm the least likely person to hurt you!
But, if you don't hurt me, I'll hurt you!
Then so be it! It doesn't matter! What matters is the here and now!
You have a weird way of thinking.
I don't think of the risks. I just go with the flow. I go with the way I feel and I feel a lot about you.
because it was your 'role'.
No! It was a role! Not anymore. I think I really like you.
I can't feel anything. Like....nothing at all. I want to so bad.
Please don't cry. I don't wanna make you cry.
Do you see tears running down the face? There are no tears. I didn't cry about my own grandmas death. I haven't cried in a long time. I used to feel too strongly, now I don't feel at all. I'm just going through the motions. No feelings. Like a robot.
Maybe you are a robot. See? I got you laughing....
So what did you just feel? amusement? See? I can make you feel stuff......I guess. A little. I feel empty. But, I don't know. I guess amusement is in there.
Look, forget what I said. Take your time. I'm sorry. *Hugs you*
I told you, go try to find someone else. You don't have to wait for me.
I want to. I don't want an outer relationship and I'm not into anyone else in the system. Wanna know a secret? *Whispers secret in real life*
*Bursts into laughter* You're kidding!
Nope! I kid you not! XD
OH MY GOSH! That is f*cked up!
I know. LOL.
Anyway, we'll talk about it more tonight. I really am sorry for upsetting you.
It's okay. Well, it's not okay....but I do forgive you.
-Sofelia